You may be thinking why would I need to be gentle with myself as I grieve through a loss?
I have had the privilege of walking along aside my clients through their grief journeys, whether they have experienced the sting of death or the paralyzing experience of divorce and estrangement from a loved one.
I hear them say things like, “I should be over this by now it’s been a year now,” “All of this crying is ridiculous people are going through worse things than I am,” “Well, my neighbor lost her husband and she seems to be coping and is stronger than I am.” The comments can go on and on.
….As you grieve be gentle with your self….
Job is an example of how paralyzing and gripping the grief process can be. In Job 16: 6-14 Job laments his grief to God by saying……
“When I speak up, I feel no better; if I say nothing, that doesn’t help either. I feel worn down. God, you have wasted me totally, me and my family!”
Job cried out to God and he gave a voice to his overwhelming grief at the loss of his family. He did not deny his feelings or sugarcoat how he felt. His feelings were raw and pure crying out to God.
How To Be Gentle As You Grieve:
- Recognize that a lifetime of loving someone leaves imprints on our hearts that forever change our souls. It will take time.
- We all grieve differently. Some of us find healing through our tears, some of us find healing through serving others or dedicating ourselves to a cause close to our hearts.
- We will feel a full range of emotions from sadness to anger to loneliness and more.
- We will often experience trigger moments that will bring bigger waves of grief such as holidays, birthdays or even sights, sounds and smells.
- Feeling angry with God is normal. Tell him how you feel…it’s ok, He can take it, He’s listening….go to Him.
Most importantly, remember that grief will come and go in waves. God will give you the strength to endure. Don’t go on your grief journey alone. Find a group or seek grief counseling so you can express your feelings.