Understanding Emotional Default Settings

The business dictionary defines a default setting as:

• controls of a computer hardware as pre-set by it’s manufacturer.
• some types of default settings may be altered or customized by the user.

I define emotional default settings as:
Emotional thought processes of the mind that become pre-set over time in reaction or response to our history of life experiences.
For example:
If we experienced abuse of any kind in our childhood we may default to responding to life stressors with fear or anxiety or maybe anger.
Our default settings alter our belief system often resulting in…..
….distorted automatic thoughts….
These are negative thoughts that are….
…customized by the user….
which would be ourselves.
Distorted automatic thoughts tell us lies about ourselves and our circumstances.
With the help of a therapist you can learn to identify what these thoughts are and begin to re-set your emotional default settings.

The good news is that there….
….IS HOPE….

Philippians 4:8 states:
Summing it all up, friends, I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies. (‭Philippians‬ ‭4‬:‭8-9‬ MSG)

Default settings can be changed!
We do have a choice!

I had to learn to re-set my own emotional default settings. I grew up in a home where unpredictable emotions were displayed and unconditional love was not offered.
I saw the world in black and white.

My emotional default settings were:

• perfectionism
• anxiety
• fear
• unworthiness

I had no choice but to re-program or I would have succumbed to self-destruction. I sometimes want to default back to old ways of thinking…..
….but with God’s help I recognize when I am tempted to respond in fear to a life stressor and ask for God’s help.
I now walk in harmony with God and meditate on things true about myself,
…the best, not the worst about myself…..you can to.
It’s time to customize your emotional default settings. It will be worth it.

His Daughter,
Melanie